Super Specialty Government Hospital

At a bar, I heard a Chief Medical Superintendent and his few friends talking. His friends wanted to know how he is able to manage Super Specialty Government Hospital so efficiently with lesser number of staff (inefficient) and inadequate facilities. He replied, “Very simple; publicize regularly that you have the best medical facilities in the world under one roof.

Good, then

then do nothing, just outsource everything

like ??? friend seemed inquisitive, so he wanted to know things in detail

whenever a patient comes to Emergency, advise him that OUTDOOR is still open - so go there

very fine, but he will find long queue there, is it correct to make him wait

so what, he can wait; for blood-test, shunt him to an outlet 15 kms. away northward of hospital

fine

for urine-test, kick him to an outlet 15 kms. away southward of hospital

fine

for Sonography send him to an outlet 15 kms. away eastwards of hospital

fine

for TMT send him to an hospital 25 kms. away westwards of hospital - O.K. ?

but how will he go there, of his own ?

no - we will send him in ambulance

in almost broken and condemned ambulance having dirty bed-sheet, full of blood-stains etc.

So what

So what, he will be infected with other diseases and just tell me, will patient go alone?

No, he will go alongwith 5/6 other patients so that he does not feel lonely

Oh I see

What about medicines ?”

after he comes back safely ( by the Grace of God ), write any medicine that is out of stock - that's all

I could not hear more than this as I wanted to finish my beer first !!!

PS : IT HAPPENS ONLY IN ___________